Blow Me One Last Kiss
by Whisper Gypsy
Summary: Songfic based on P!nk's new song. Hermione and Ron have been married for three years, but different elements of their marriage have gotten to them both, changing each of them into people they no longer recognize. Told from Hermione's POV. Rated for cussing and affair.


A/N: I know, Ron/Hermione fic! Not really me, you're thinking… or perhaps, GASP! The horror! Don't worry, Ron-bashers, just call me Bam-bam. (Secretly I'm Pebbles, but shhh!) Dedicated especially to my Beta, Starcrescentmoon: life's too short to be anything but hit or miss. PS: listening to the song while reading may or may not increase your levels of enjoyment, but it will increase your levels of awesome. So it has been said, so it shall be written.

Disclaimer: The song belongs to P!nk, and the characters to JK Rowling.

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_White knuckles, and sweaty palms from hanging on too tight…  
Clench your jaw, I've got another headache again tonight_

He was out all night again. I am going to kill whichever bint he's been bedding down with now. I deserve better than this! She slammed a frame to the floor, smashing the glass, and terrifying the two dancing occupants.

_Eyes on fire, eyes on fire and they burn from all the tears  
I've been crying, I've been crying, I've been dying over you_

Hermione collapsed to the floor, having spent another night wide awake. She stared down at the rings on her hand, and the wedding photo on the floor. "He used to love me," she whispered. "Where did we go wrong?"

_Tie a knot in the rope: trying to hold, trying to hold  
But there's nothing to grab, so I let go_

Hermione thought back to all their dreams after the Phoenix Battle: jobs, a home, children, forever. Then Ron had learned he was sterile. Hermione accepted it, since she loved him, but maybe he hadn't been able to accept it himself. After all, Ginny, George, Bill, and even Percy were all having children. But not him. And not her.

_I think I've finally had enough; I think I maybe think too much  
I think this might be it for us; blow me one last kiss_

She held her journal from their first year of marriage, full of tiny spats, and great make-up sessions, but mostly a lot of tear-stained pages. It had never been easy between the two. They had become friends in the hard times, and had no way of surviving the good ones.

_You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit  
My head is spinning, so blow me one last kiss_

The Floo made the signal that someone was attempting to come through, but she had blocked it off. She got to her feet, wearily and moved over to her bureau, where the clock read 4:16 am. She huffed out some air, not truly surprised. He was right on schedule, showing up between four and five every morning.

_Just when it can't get worse, I've had a shit day  
Have you had a shit day? We've had a shit day_

Does he think I don't notice? she wondered. Do our vows, our love, our dreams mean nothing to him? She screamed, tearing his pillow from their bed and shredding it, feathers snowing down around her in large white clumps.

_I think that life's too short for this; want back my ignorance and bliss  
I think I've had enough of this: blow me one last kiss_

Merlin, it was so much easier that first year… And isn't the first year supposed to be the hardest? We fought a bit but that was before my periods were more regular than clockwork, back before we started decorating a nursery, hoping that one day…

_I won't miss all of the fighting that we always did  
Take it in: I mean what I say when I say "there is nothing left"_

This house feels empty; it's not my home. Not anymore—the only home I feel safe at is Hogwarts, at least, anymore. The rooms of this house ached from the emptiness. There was no laughter here, only tears. She wanted to drown in the bathroom. Maybe she would.

_No more sick whiskey dick, no more battles from me  
You'll be calling a trick 'cause you no longer sleep_

He was banging on the front door, probably already knowing she would have made it impossible to apparate in. Prat. Git. Wanker. His little hussy wasn't enough for him, he wanted to come home and have her fix him his tea and beans on toast? Well fuck him. See if she cared.

_I'll dress nice, I'll look good, I'll go dancing alone  
I will laugh, I'll get drunk, I'll take somebody home_

Maybe she wouldn't go out and fuck every man she found, but she still looked good, and could damn well find someone else. He'd just have to sit back and watch what he was throwing away captivate everyone else. She'd show him.

_I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much  
I think this might be it for us: blow me one last kiss_

He was crying on the step. She bit her trembling lip, and finally relented, getting up from the floor and letting him into the flat. But as soon as the lock was slipped from the door, his weeping promises of change and fidelity melted into curses and blame, all heaped onto her fragile shoulders. How dare he blame her! Sure, she hadn't been the best wife, but how about him? Model husband? As if.

_You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit  
My head is spinning, so blow me one last kiss_

She might be too serious, and bookish, and completely scheduled and regulated and by-the-book, but he was too much all the time, insane and all over the place, as unpredictable as the wind in the middle of the ocean. What was she supposed to do, how was she supposed to handle that? What should she have done? What didn't she do?

She had tried so damn hard.

_Just when it can't get worse, I've had a shit day  
Have you had a shit day? We've had a shit day_

It seemed like a dream; the fight as it happened. Hermione had screamed, Ron had cursed. She had cried, he had yelled. She had thrown things, he had fallen down and cried.

_I think that life's too short for this, want back my ignorance and bliss  
I think I've had enough of this: blow me one last kiss_

She looked at him, lying there on the floor and made her decision. She walked back to her room and tossed her clothes into a bag. She shoved the three books by the bed and shoved them in as well, eyes blurring over with emotion.

_Blow me one last kiss; blow me one last kiss_

She ran down the hall, night dress flapping behind her, one slipper left behind in the bathroom after she stopped to get her toiletries. She magicked the entire library into her bag and pulled the strings tight.

_I will do what I please, anything that I want  
I will breathe, I will breathe, I won't worry at all_

It seemed so easy once she had made the decision—no trouble at all to walk out the front door and apparate over to Grimmauld Place. She smiled at Ginny and Harry, cooed over young James and Lily, just long enough to borrow a bathroom to change in, before she was off again.

_You will pay for your sins, you'll be sorry, my dear  
All the lies, all the why's, will all be crystal clear_

Ron followed her. Begging and pleading for her to change her mind; rich from the man who had been demanding that she leave one hour ago, and that two hours before that had probably been spilling himself into some two-bit floozy with dyed hair and enhanced boobs. Two-faced bastard.

_I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much  
I think this might be it for us. Blow me one last kiss_

Goodbyes hurt somewhere in the middle of your chest, but only when you don't want to say goodbye. Because after she left them all behind, she felt free, as though some shackle had been unlocked, and her mind was restored to her. She could think again.

_You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit  
My head is spinning, so blow me one last kiss_

Alright, Hermione. Analyze. What should my next move be? I've left him, and our house, and all our things. Should I make it permanent? My going away? Am I strong enough to do that?

_Just when it can't get worse: I've had a shit day  
Have you had a shit day? We've had a shit day_

Today was probably one of the worst days of her life. It wasn't as bad as the day she had to obliviate her parents though. Or the day of the Battle of Hogwarts and the Phoenix Battle. It certainly didn't hurt as much as Bellatrix's tender, loving care and hospitality. But it definitely was towards the top of the list.

_I think that life's too short for this, want back my ignorance and bliss  
I think I've had enough of this: blow me one last kiss_

So, she had decided, it was going to be a permanent change. She left, leaving behind no trace of her journey or destination, and went looking for a new life.

_Blow me one last kiss; blow me one last kiss_

Hermione Granger had loved maps as a small Muggle child, and had always fantasized about visiting the Isle of Skye, and going so far north that she could almost touch the reindeer when Santa left the North Pole. As for whether or not the old jolly man existed was anybody's best guess. After all the magic she had seen, she'd believe anything; but perhaps there was one childhood dream she could fulfill.

_Just when it can't get worse: I've had a shit day  
Have you had a shit day? We've had a shit day_

She had apparated to the northernmost part of Scotland, and was now standing on a ferry, headed off to the Isle of Skye. It was time for her to be moving on with her life. It was time for a new challenge, a new goal, a new life to live.

_I think that life's too short for this; want back my ignorance and bliss  
I think I've had enough of this: blow me one last kiss_

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E/N: So? Comment/Review/Rave/Flame/Meh away!


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